Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
