I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You are the jesus of drinking
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
