When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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