exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
