she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
