We're like a lot better than the average bears
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
A bitchslap is in order.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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