Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
