Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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