I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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