I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
