Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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