he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
