MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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