Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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