I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
