I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He? As in you personified your dick?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
