Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
