I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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