I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
where are my eyebrows?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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