.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
