He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
