Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
