i don't like sucking hair
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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