why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
