ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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