I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
