Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize