I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
