I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
