Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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