your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
