I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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