I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
