yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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