Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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