Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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