My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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