we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
