Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize