Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im holly from the hills drunk
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize