We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
