I'm jealous of your bromance
This girl is more easily done than said...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
