What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
