I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
