Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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