Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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