my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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