he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
