So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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