I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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