Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
