I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
