thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
