I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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