Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I heard we made out
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
