just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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