the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
