No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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