I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm passing your future prison.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
