Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
