fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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