she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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