mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize