i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
