I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
