just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
