so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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