nut hugger
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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