I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Actions speak louder than pants.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
