Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
