Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
