that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
