In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
tell me about the fingering
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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