I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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