At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
