I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
