New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
