so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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